These experiences crushed my spirit, making me fearful of being seen and of taking up space.  For who was I that I mattered; that experiencing joy was important; that my thoughts, hopes and dreams meant anything?

To be fair, not everything in my life was dark. There were pockets of unbridled joy, especially time spent with my grandparents in the wilds of Northern Saskatchewan. Yet, when the foundation of one’s life is so acutely skewed nothing can make up for it, particularly when your immediate family is similarly indoctrinated.

Not surprisingly, I lost my zest for life.  As a young adult I cycled through abusive relationships and became increasingly self-destructive.  I left and returned to the religion numerous times, as I had been conditioned to believe that “the real life” could only be found there.

For a long time, this broken legacy defined me. But a quiet voice grew within me, a voice that whispered that not only was I living a lie, the path that had been dictated for me would eventually kill me.  That whisper grew into a loud, not-to-be-ignored call to freedom.

With the support of a huuuuuuuuuge team of caring folks who guided and supported me with their full presence, I began to gain a sense of self.  I discovered that I mattered; that I had a voice; that I was perfectly imperfect the way I was.

Eventually I was able to call bullshit and cut all ties with the cult. Yay, me!

And so began my pilgrimage to study the same methods that supported me in my recovery, soaking up as much goodness as I could. I explored traditions East and West: craniosacral therapy, yoga, meditation, Thai medicine - and more recently - Somatic Experiencing®. You can see my qualifications and professional experience here.

I don’t share these things to garner a high five from you, nor do I share my story to as a way to say, “Hey, I figured it out and now I can be your guru.”

I share this because I’m convinced we enter the world whole and complete and remain as such, regardless of what we’ve experienced.  I believe that reclaiming our joy and vitality is always possible.  I share my story in the hope of sparking hope in you.

I’m also convinced that healing is possible only when we connect with others, to share the journey and the burdens.  It's scary, and it's true.

Creating a vibrant life is a matter of clearing away all the things that prevent us from experiencing it.  It’s buried beneath the rubble of what merely looks like a broken life.